Sometimes Love is Not Enough. For most of us, love seems like such a great thing to have in our lives. We tend to oversimplify its effects, usually operating under the belief that love is the most important part of any relationship.
While it is a crucial component of any long-term romance, it is dangerous to think that it is more critical than any other aspect of being with another person. The fact is, in many cases, love simply isn’t enough to carry a relationship, meaning that we have to rely on other key factors to ensure that we can endure through tough times with our significant other.
Today we’ll be discussing the illusion of love and what it means to be in a committed relationship when love is not enough.
Why is Love Not the Answer?
In our quest to find the right person for us, we tend to imagine that if we fall in love that that is the end goal. After all, if you love someone, won’t the rest just kind of fall into place?
While that may seem like a great idea, the reality is far from being that perfect. Love is only one piece to a puzzle rather than the whole thing. But why is that the case?
Why can’t love be enough for two people to make things work? Well, it’s precisely because love isn’t work that it can be the problem.
When you first think about it, it seems that love could patch all of the issues in your relationship because, at the end of the day, despite all of your problems you still love each other. However, when you really think about it, love should act as a motivator, not as a relationship hack.
You do things for your partner because you love him or her; you go the extra mile for your SO because your love inspires you to do so. Thus, if you don’t actually put in the work, your love is meaningless.
Actions are Louder Than Feelings
When you start to dive deeper into the elements that make a relationship successful, you will see that love can fill in the cracks, but there has to be a foundation of trust, commitment, and action on which to base your relationship. Think about it this way; you could love someone with all of your heart, but if you don’t do anything to be with them or show them that you love them through your actions, then how will they know?
Also, more importantly, how will you know? It’s easy to say you love something when your feelings aren’t tested, but if you put your relationship through tons of stress, it may not survive the pressure.
At the end of the day, love is an internal feeling, so it takes action to show it externally to your partner and to make your whole relationship work. If you don’t do anything, it doesn’t matter how much you love someone; they will never experience your love if you don’t take action.
Showing vs. Accepting Love
We tend to show our feelings in a variety of ways, which is excellent for a lot of reasons. However, if your partner doesn’t know that what you’re doing is an expression of love, or chooses to show his or her feelings differently, there can be a bit of a disconnect between what you perceive vs. what your partner feels.
Conversely, you have to make sure that you show your love in such a way that your SO can accept it for what it is and will appreciate it. Let’s look at an example of “love language” that can get lost in translation.
For some people, physical affection is the best way to show love. Hugs, kisses, and other displays of attention are their way to say “I love you” without actually saying it. For those people, these actions can help strengthen a relationship because it conveys their feelings easily and makes both people feel good.
For other people, though, doing service is their form of non-verbal “I love you,” which may not always connect with the touchy-feely types. In this instance, doing things for your partner is the best way to show your love, not necessarily physical affection.
If two people demonstrate their love in these different ways and are looking for similar actions from their partner, they may feel shunned or neglected, when in reality they are experiencing love in various forms. As such, each party needs to adapt to his or her partner’s needs, while also communicating what works for them. This way, both partners can feel loved without any problems.
Work Together for Success
Overall, the biggest reason that love is not enough is that there is more to a relationship than showing affection toward one another. There are bills to pay, chores to do, and other things that have to get done that are unrelated to your feelings for each other.
Thus, you have to stop and put in the effort to make sure that you are taking the time and effort necessary for your relationship; otherwise, the other stuff will begin to take over, and you are no longer a couple, just people who live together and love each other, albeit internally. In the end, effort is what makes a relationship work, and love is what makes that effort worthwhile.
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