How to Write a Love Letter

how to write a love letterWhen you’re in love, how do you show it? We all have our own love languages, from physical intimacy to doing things for those we care about the most. However, one of the best ways to show your significant other how you feel is to write a love letter.

For generations, putting our thoughts onto paper for our cherished lovers to read has been the go-to approach to make sure that we not only say what’s on our mind but that those feelings will last a lifetime. Whether it’s sending a love letter to your SO while you’re away or leaving a small note of affection for special occasions, this practice has become a tried-and-true method of sharing your most intimate thoughts with the person you hold dear.

How to Write a Love Letter

So, with that in mind, we wanted to provide you with some valuable insight into how to craft a love letter. Fortunately, you don’t have to be an English major or a professional poet to create something unique and significant that will make your significant other feel loved and appreciated. All it takes is time, patience, and dedication.

Why You Should Write Love Letters

In today’s modern world, taking the time to write a letter may seem a bit antiquated. However, when you think about it, part of the appeal of love letters is their traditional nature. Also, when you consider how fast-paced and convenient our communication methods have become, it’s nice to slow things down a bit and write a message by hand, rather than via a keyboard or touchscreen.

Overall, the reason why love letters can be so valuable to a relationship is that it takes time and effort to make them. They can’t be bought or replicated, meaning that each one is unique and meaningful in its own way. A simple love note can have just as much of an impact as a ten-page letter; it all depends on how you do it. Now let’s talk about how to craft a love letter at the various stages of your relationship.

Love Letters Through the Dating Process

One of the great things about love letters is that they are always in fashion. As long as they are genuine and heartfelt, the object of your affection will appreciate the care and attention to detail that you put into it.

That being said, you should be ready to deliver love letters throughout your relationship. They’re not something that should be considered a “phase,” but rather something that evolves with your love and the various stages you experience together.

There are no right answers here, so let your feelings guide you through the process. Let this be a guideline, not a rulebook.

Before You’re Together

If you two haven’t gone out on an official “date” yet, then it may seem like it’s too early to be writing love letters. After all, you don’t want to tip your hand too early, and crafting letters like this can make it seem like you’re moving too fast, right?

Well, it all comes down to the message you’re trying to send. Yes, it’s way too early to be professing your undying love for someone you haven’t even kissed yet, but during the pre-courtship phase, you can show your feelings without being too overt or serious.

During this stage, your letters should be playful and accessible. You don’t know enough about each other to start developing deep feelings, but you do have a strong sense of attraction, so let that be your guide.

Thus, instead of saying things like “I love the way you smile,” you can phrase it as “your smile is infectious.” You can mention the way that the other person makes you feel without making it too personal. By referring to his or her antics or beauty more passively, it can have a substantial impact without coming on too strong.

The other thing to consider is that your letters should be short and sweet. No one wants to read a 20-page manifesto from someone they barely know, so keep it to a couple of paragraphs or a page at max. Use your love letter to pique interest, not overblow your intentions.

Key Points to Remember

  • Short and to the point
  • Playful and charming
  • Not too personal

Example

Hey [Name],

I have to say that I’m pretty mad at you right now. You have become too much of a distraction lately. The way your smile lights up a room, the way that you command everyone’s attention with your grace and elegance – it’s all a little too perfect.

It’s gotten to the point where I can’t stop thinking about you, and that’s becoming a bit of a problem. I’m afraid that if it continues, I’ll forget my own name and starting saying yours when I order coffee in the morning.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you should think about becoming less incredible and beautiful. I would really appreciate it if you would stop forcing your way into my thoughts with the way you look so effortlessly gorgeous all the time. It would at least help me focus on my job.

Sincerely, [Name]

During Courtship

Once you two start dating, then you can begin to add a few more flourishes to your writing. As you get to know each other, you can personalize each letter to make it more meaningful and impactful. You can also start infusing more of your feelings into the mix as you show your significant other the deeper sides of yourself.

Again, you want to avoid diving off the deep end, at least while the relationship is still new. Also, if you haven’t said “I love you” in person yet, it’s probably not a good idea to broach the subject in a letter instead. The point of saying “I love you” is to hear it back, which is impossible when it’s written on the page.

You should still try to be a little playful, but now is the time to show that your feelings are becoming more genuine and more real. When describing your emotions, be sure to use specific examples as much as possible so that it shows that your letter is coming from the heart. Thus, rather than lines like “you’re more beautiful than the night sky,” you should say things like “I love the way that your eyes sparkle when you get excited.”

Key Points to Remember

  • Still playful
  • Unique to your relationship
  • Don’t go deeper than what you’ve expressed in person
  • Still relatively short and sweet

Example

Dear [Name],

You have stolen my heart. When we first started dating, I knew that there was something special between us, but now I know that it’s much more than being attracted to your illustrious good looks. Ever since we kissed underneath the stars on our first date, I haven’t been able to stop smiling.

I know it’s still early, but I have to say that you’re making my heart soar. When we’re together, I feel happy and giddy, and I can’t bear to be away from you for too long. You’ve set up shop in my mind, and I’m more than happy to let you stay there for as long as you wish.

You’re one of the best things to happen to me, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. I know that we share something special, and I want to see it blossom into something extraordinary. You make me excited to wake up in the morning, especially when it’s to see your smiling face.

Love, [Name]

Committed Relationship

At this point, you have been through a lot together. You’ve already said “I love you,” and perhaps you’ve taken some significant steps forward, such as moving in together or getting engaged.

During this stage, you may think that your love letters should be profound, emotional messages that allow you to profess your innermost thoughts on the page. While that can be impactful, it doesn’t have to be that way.

The great thing about love letters during a committed relationship is that they can be a mixture of both fun and serious. By now, you should know your partner well enough to understand what he or she appreciates as far as love letters go, so if you think that he or she will appreciate a 10-page treatise on your love, then go for it. However, if that seems like a bit much, then feel free to keep them short and to the point.

The other thing about love letters now is that you don’t have to use them to profess your feelings. Instead, they should serve as special reminders to keep your partner from feeling like things are becoming too “ordinary.”

Write love letters for special occasions, or when you’re away from each other. Write little love notes when you know that your partner is having a stressful day. At this point, each letter doesn’t have to be a statement, but rather part of a collection of moments captured in time. In the long run, they will combine to create a rich tableau of your relationship through its ups and downs.

Key Points to Remember

  • Keep them unique if possible
  • Focus on content, not length
  • Make each one count, even if briefly

Example

My dearest,

My love for you has only continued to grow. You stole my heart when we first met, and now I can think of no better person to hold onto it for eternity. Sharing my life with you is the best decision I’ve made, and you make me happier every day that we’re together.

I love the way you look in the morning when you’re still not awake. I love the way you rest your head on my chest when we’re watching a movie. I love the way you smile when you’re reading a book you like. It’s all of these moments that mean the most to me, and I cherish every one of them.

I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, and I know that we’ll only fall deeper in love with each other as we see what the future holds.

I love you more than you know.

Further reading: How do you tell a girl you love her?

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