How to Handle Your Girlfriend’s Past. If you’re like most guys, you can tend to get a little jealous when it comes to your girlfriend.
Whenever other guys hit on her, or whenever she hangs out with her other friends, it can send a little twang of jealousy down your spine.
While those situations affect your current relationship, though, one thing does not: her past.
Unfortunately, finding out about your girlfriend’s previous exploits can be hard to bear for some people.
This is particularly the case if she has had more than a few suitors.
For some guys, it could change their whole perspective on how they picture their girlfriend, and for others, it can feel like you’re in competition with her previous beaus.
But what can you do if learning about her past bothers you?
What happens if she starts telling you about her exes and it makes you cringe?
Well, like it or not, this is a problem that you’re going to have to deal with if you want to continue to be with her.
Fortunately, there are a few things that can help you handle your girlfriend’s past.
It’s Not About You
First things first, her exes have nothing to do with you.
Even if they left a lasting impression, you are not them, and vice versa.
The only time that it could be a problem is if her ex is still in her life and she still has feelings for him.
Otherwise, you have to understand that they are part of her past, not yours.
Another thing to consider is that if she is willing to open up about her previous boyfriends, then it probably means that she is serious about being with you.
If anything, you might even take it as a compliment as it means that she values your feelings and opinions.
What Happened, Happened
No matter how much it may bother you, there is no going back and changing anything.
Perhaps she was mixed up with the wrong people, and maybe she made some mistakes.
Regardless, unless you can figure out a way to travel back in time, there is nothing she can do about it.
Not only that, but getting back to our first point, it would be selfish of you to try and change her past for your benefit.
Think of the Bright Side
If your girlfriend had more boyfriends than you would like to imagine, think about it like this: she’s experienced.
Not only sexually, but emotionally as well.
This means that she will most likely be better prepared to handle problems that arise in your relationship, and she probably knows exactly what she wants.
Ergo, if she is still with you, then that really means something.
Plus, you can use her expertise to your advantage and experiment in the bedroom.
In the end, pretend as if her other boyfriends were practice so that she could be even better for you.
Be Open and Honest
Even though the way you feel about her past is a problem that you have to deal with on your own, that doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to her about it as well.
The important thing to remember here is not to judge her or act as if she did anything wrong.
After all, what happened was before she met you (most likely), meaning that your relationship shouldn’t be directly affected by it.
Overall, let her know what’s going on in your mind and, if there is anything in particular that bothers you, tell her.
The best way to go about it, though, is to let her know that it’s something that you will have to get over in your own time.
Just as you are respecting her previous actions, she should also respect the fact that you are dealing with it in your own way.
Focus on the Future
One useful method for forgetting the past is to pay more attention to things that are happening now as well as what will happen later on.
If you want to get serious with your girlfriend, focus your energy on building something for the future.
The longer that you dwell on the past, the more it will impact your relationship, so put your mind to something more constructive.
Ask Yourself the Tough Question
If for whatever reason, her previous experience bothers you to the point where you’re not sure if you can move on, then you may have to cut your losses.
Before you take the nuclear option, however, try to figure out if there is any way that you can get over it.
In the end, it’s kind of ridiculous to break up with someone because of their past, unless she did something so heinous or despicable that you can never forgive her.
One question you should ask yourself though is that if the roles were reversed, would you want her to stay with you?
If the answer is yes, then you owe it to your relationship to make it work.
In the end, finding out about your girlfriend’s past is usually not a pleasant experience, but it’s something that you should know so that you can build something together.
Overall, it’s usually better to find out what happened than to plead ignorance.
Otherwise, it could cause a rift between you down the line.
If you are serious about each other, it’s a conversation that needs to happen.
Subscribe to Email Updates
Receive my free eBook The Ultimate Guide to Talking to Girls when you subscribe for email updates. Don't miss a post.