What to expect when moving in with your girlfriend. During the life cycle of a relationship, one of the biggest leaps forward in commitment is moving in with each other.
These days, cohabitation is becoming much more popular among young couples (mostly for financial reasons), but that doesn’t mean that it’s an easy thing to do.
In fact, living together is where you will discover how strong your relationship truly is, so be prepared to confront some potentially ugly truths about each other.
So, with that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the things you should expect when moving in with your girlfriend. (Spoiler alert: it’s going to be a lot of compromising.)
Have Open Communication
Since you will see each other a lot more, now is the time to expand your communication channels and share more than you ever have before.
Too often, couples silently agree to keep things under the surface, but the reality is that you want to talk about things more often, particularly when it comes to things like chores and rent (we’ll get to those in a moment).
Overall, the more you can open up about everything, the better off you both will be.
So, if you’re not big on sharing, you could wind up sabotaging your relationship without even knowing it.
Are you moving into her place, or is she moving into yours?
Do you get a new place together?
Are both of your names on the lease?
Each situation comes with its own perils and pitfalls, especially regarding who has the last word.
When someone moves into your space, it’s tempting to act like you’re the boss, but this is a relationship, not a tenant/landlord situation.
As such, it’s crucial that you talk about everything down to the smallest detail, such as who buys groceries, where furniture gets to go, and how to share a bathroom.
The sooner you can establish this stuff, the smoother the transition will be.
Divvy Up Chores
If you or your girlfriend winds up doing most of the cleaning and upkeep of the place, then there will ultimately be resentment and regret.
Distributing responsibility isn’t about punishment or anything nefarious, it’s about respect for one another and the space in which you live.
The other thing to discuss regarding chores is how often they should be done.
Invariably, one of you will like the house cleaner than the other, meaning that you have to compromise somehow.
Even if you’re okay with dishes sitting in the sink for a few days, it could drive her crazy, which will lead to arguments down the road.
Overall, be prepared to pitch in and help out.
After all, you live there, and she is definitely not your maid.
Adjust to Habits
When you’re living with someone, everything comes out, including those parts that you don’t want to show to polite society.
We’re talking bathroom habits, weird smells, and other unmentionables that will come up.
Perhaps she leaves her used hairbrush in the sink after she showers, and it gets in the way of you shaving.
Maybe you have to use the bathroom while she’s washing up.
Overall, the longer you spend with someone, the more comfortable you will get with such things, so be prepared to see your girlfriend in a whole new light.
Now you won’t just see her when she’s had time to get dolled up for a date, but you’ll be with her when she hasn’t put on deodorant or forgot to brush her teeth before knocking out on the couch.
Again, compromise is the key thing here, as well as communication.
If something bothers you that much, bring it up and try to find a solution.
Overall, there are going to be things that both of you do that bug the other, so it’s really a matter of letting those things go.
Talk About Finances
If you are both living together, then you should split everything in equal share.
That includes food, rent, and other utilities.
If you aren’t going to do things that way, then make sure that both of you are in agreement about your financial arrangement.
The other thing to discuss is large projects like fixing or replacing appliances as well as any remodeling that you might want to do in the future.
Money can always be a sore subject, so try to get ahead of any issues by bringing them up as soon as possible.
Also, once you’ve come to a conclusion, you have to accept it, even if you prefer a different arrangement.
If you don’t, then it will create friction later on.
Don’t Forget Date Night
It’s too easy to settle into a rut when living with your significant other.
You spend every night together, so you don’t have to work hard to see each other.
However, it’s crucial to your relationship that you still make time to go out and do things together so that you don’t lose your spark.
It could be as simple as setting aside one night a week to go on a date or choosing a few days each month.
In the end, don’t neglect your relationship because you are now roommates.
Overall, when moving in with your girlfriend, don’t assume anything.
Go into it with both eyes open and talk about everything beforehand.
Ultimately, this is a huge decision, so don’t make it lightly.