For most of us, being in the right relationship is one of the best feelings in the world. When you’re in love, the sun shines brighter, you have more pep in your step, and you feel like you can take on the world.
But what if you’re in a relationship and you find yourself sad most of the time? What if thinking about your relationship brings up feelings of dread and resentment? Does that mean that your boyfriend or girlfriend is a terrible person? Perhaps, but it could also mean that your relationship isn’t fulfilling your needs.
In fact, here is a list of warning signs to watch out for to know if you’re really in something that has either passed or is fast approaching an expiration date.
You Don’t Talk About the Future
When things are jiving between you and your partner, talking about the future is easy. That isn’t even to say that it has to be future long-term plans, such as moving in together or getting married. Planning a romantic getaway or vacation can be enough to solidify that you are both comfortable with spending time together and you see no reason why you won’t be a couple down the road.
However, if talking about the future puts either one of you on edge, then that probably means that things are not going smoothly. If bringing up going to a concert or something several months from now results in a lackluster “maybe” from your SO, then you are probably heading in the wrong direction.
You Hide Things from Each Other
One indicator of a healthy relationship is that you both have implicit trust in the other. This is not just for big stuff like cheating, but for little things as well. You should both be open to sharing and providing intimate details so that there are no nasty surprises later on.
Unfortunately, if you find that your partner is keeping things from you, especially little things, then it shows that he or she doesn’t trust you enough to open up, or doesn’t want to. This could be as simple as lying about where you are, or it could be something more serious. The more it happens, the more it will signify that your relationship is coming to an end.
Your Partner Acts Differently Around Other People
No matter who we are, we always present ourselves differently to the people we talk to on a regular basis. You don’t talk to your parents the same way you do to your best friends, and you don’t act the same around your boss as you do with your peers.
Thus, there will most likely be some changes that you’ll notice with your partner when he or she is around different people, but your SO should not be acting so differently that you think he or she is another person.
For example, if your partner seems to be able to open up to friends more than you, or appears to prefer hanging out with them over you, then it could be a sign that your relationship is not built on a solid foundation.
One thing to keep in mind, however, is to bring up these feelings afterward to get your partner’s input. If he or she dismisses your emotions about the subject, then it could mean that your feelings don’t particularly matter.
You Fight With No Real Cause or Effect
All couples fight; it’s a natural process that happens regardless of age or level of intimacy or whether you’re in the right relationship. People who get along exceptionally well will get on each other’s nerves every so often, so don’t think that having a fight is a major sign of trouble.
With that in mind, however, if the two of you start to argue or get into it without any provocation or resolution, then it could mean that you won’t be very stable. One of the best ways to see how strong your relationship is is to see how quickly you can talk and make up after a big fight.
However, if your partner doesn’t want to talk things over or starts fighting again, then it could be a sign that you’re in a bad relationship. This is especially true if you keep rehashing the same arguments over and over again.
You Want to Change Each Other
Finally, one of the biggest red flags that your relationship is not functional is if you’re trying to change your partner or vice versa. You should celebrate the little things that make your SO unique and special, not try to stifle them or turn them into something you like.
So, if you find yourself getting annoyed with things that your partner does, it could mean that your involvement in the relationship is predicated on something more than just being together.
Another sign of trouble can be if your partner refuses to change anything about his or herself, even if it’s something cosmetic that doesn’t corrupt his or her internal alignment. If that is the case, and you’ve approached the subject and shared how you feel, then it could mean that your partner won’t ever adapt to your needs, which will make it a one-sided and ultimately empty relationship.
Overall, if you are feeling dissatisfied with your partner, then it’s imperative that you figure out what is causing that emotion to take hold. Then, once you’ve isolated the problem, then talk to your partner about it. If he or she doesn’t seem interested in working through things, or you don’t really care to either, then it’s a perfect sign that your relationship won’t last.