Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Marry You. For some of us, the ultimate destination for our relationship is marriage. After spending so much time with a person, there comes a point when you either have to make a full commitment or find someone else who wants the same things that you do.
Unfortunately, though, there is no right way to figure out when to get married, and it’s imperative that both of you want to take the plunge; otherwise, it could spell disaster.
So, if you’re thinking about wedding bells, you might be wondering how to broach the subject with your partner. This can be a tricky thing to navigate, especially if your relationship is still relatively new.
As such, today we’re going to look at some surefire signs that your SO is definitely not trying to hitch a ride on the matrimony pony anytime soon, least of all with you. While this may seem a bit harsh, the fact is that if you do notice these signs, it will give you some indication as to whether or not you want to continue to pursue the relationship.
Doesn’t Want to Talk About Marriage
Even if you’ve never brought up the idea before, chances are that the concept of marriage has come up in conversation; perhaps a friend of yours got married or something. If your SO seems against the idea of marriage altogether, then it’s a strong indication that he or she won’t be wanting a ring around their finger. This goes double if you do ever bring it up casually “what are your thoughts on marriage this day and age?” and he or she changes the subject immediately.
Keeps the Future Vague
Usually, the idea of marriage is tied to the idea that you will be together forever. Even if you don’t subscribe to the traditional methods of getting engaged, marriage is a symbol of your everlasting commitment.
So, if your significant other doesn’t like to talk about the future, or keeps it intentionally vague, then it could mean that he or she doesn’t plan on being with you in the long term. This is even worse if your SO talks about the future in the singular tense (I want to travel, I want to buy a house, etc.).
Separates You and Family
Another main component of marriage is that it’s the couple of two families, not just individuals. This means that your SO should be trying to bring you into the fold by inviting you to family functions and holidays.
If he or she doesn’t then it could mean that they are not thinking of your relationship too seriously. Also, if you ask to meet the family and your SO seems unsure about it, then that can be an even worse sign that marriage is off the table.
One thing to consider here, too, is how close your SO is with his or her family. If they are tight, then you have a big reason to worry. Conversely, if your SO’s family is a sore spot already, then you may not have to read too much into this separation. It could be that your partner doesn’t like his or her family and doesn’t want that kind of drama.
No matter how much you love each other, you will fight on a regular basis. This is a sign of a healthy relationship, as long as you are able to make up and get closer after each argument.
Marriage means that you two can deal with your problems like adults and that conflict is nothing to be afraid of. So, if your partner tries to avoid any conflict with you altogether and doesn’t seem interested in resolving issues, then that could mean that your relationship is not strong enough for marriage.
Heading in Different Directions
One of the most crucial aspects of getting married is that you are building a life together, not apart. This means that you should both be moving in the same direction so that you can support each other and grow closer as your relationship evolves.
However, if your SO wants different things than you do, it probably means that your relationship has an expiration date. For example, if you want to have kids and move to the suburbs but your partner wants to travel the world and potentially never have children, then you are not moving towards anything resembling a marriage.
Postponing the Idea
In some cases, your partner may seem open to the idea of getting married and will even talk about having a wedding, but when you press for concrete details, he or she doesn’t have anything to say. In this case, what’s most likely happening is that your partner is still debating about whether or not he or she loves you enough to get married and is talking about it simply to keep you on the hook.
If this does happen, then what’s important is that you first give your SO enough time to figure things out, but then eventually it’s time to make a final decision. If you’re ready to get married and he or she still can’t make a commitment, then you might have to break it off for both of your sakes. You don’t deserve to be left hanging for someone who isn’t ready to devote themselves to you.
In the end, marriage shouldn’t be a huge hassle. Overall, both of you should be excited about the prospect of getting married and being together in the long term. If one of you is doubtful, then it could lead to problems down the road, so don’t rush into anything and never marry anyone for any other reason than because you both want to. Anything else will most likely lead to regret and divorce.